Thursday, November 18, 2010 4:19 PM
So was that meant as a personal attack or something?
Good afternoon I'm here to rant. About self esteem. I know I'm not the best representative for something so giant in our lives, but I think I just need to type out whatever that's going through my mind right now. It's annoying when you have something negative stuck in your head.
So uh, I've been told a million times that I need to speak up, or even just earn a voice for myself, and to be honest it is a little hard to take it all of that in a day (especially since I hear that multiple times a day), or even just throughout my school life so far. Even so I do try my best to take all of that in, and make sure that I make an effort to improve in whatever I need to improve in - in this case, have more confidence in myself and contribute more during discussions. You know, the usual stuff you see in report books. OH WAIT, only in my report book actually.
... ah okay I just realised that last sentence right there was clear proof of the fact that I do need more self esteem. But that's not the point, I already know that, and it's only changeable if I decide to make it so. My point izzzzz (gawwwd how long have I been lingering on that -_-), is it wrong to have low self esteem? I mean, sure it's going to affect you when it comes to stuff like self-presentation and all that, but it's really no one's fault (including the person him/herself) that they've that amount of confidence. They'd want some confidence if they could, but it's just NOT as easy as it sounds when anyone just tells you to have believe in yourself, or even to just speak up.
It's hard for people who don't have to go through processes like these to understand, because they just haven't had that kind of experience before. Simply speaking up is hard enough for the people who don't have an adequate amount of self esteem in themselves, and I just don't get how that's THEIR fault! They never wanted to have this annoying barrier restricting them, they do try their best to voice out, but are the people around them allowing them to do so? Pinpointing that they're "awfully quiet" or that they have "low self esteem" is just tearing them down even more and it's not helping. Of course it takes some sort of painful detection before eliminating the issue/problem, but at least have that minimal respect to boost it, or simply cushion the truth or something. They KNOW what they need to work on, so work on it WITH them not just stand there in the sidelines, expecting them to know how to do it! One party has first-hand experience with having a healthy amount of ego, the other party doesn't. How is it that hard?
Maybe I'm being so super touchy on this cos I'm the latter, but I really do think that self esteem is something that needs to be controlled. And blaming someone for being naturally quiet is just kind of senseless to me. Not like saying that will automatically change everything, it's only going to make things go downhill and not help at all. I'm not talking about those people who just refuse to work on their self esteem - those are the ones who hardly deserve help. In fact I think those are the ones with TOO much confidence. I mean, if they think they don't have to change and reflect on themselves, isn't that negative ego on it's own? All that blabber I've been typing up there - I just think it's unfair to blame anyone for being who they are. I think I'm done.
I♥AT
